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Dear readers,

From December 2015, I will be updating from https://sandarastwin.wordpress.com/

See you guys there and thanks for stopping by! :)

[PART 3] BTS 'RUN' Analysis: You cannot run from reality

* This is a THREE part post. Please first read Part I (I NEED YOU) and Part II (Prologue)'s analysis (Do it in sequence!)

* This is purely my own understanding of the storyline. The beauty of art is in its openness to hundreds of possible interpretations. There is no 'right' or 'wrong' theory.

*Feel free to share this if you found it helpful. However please do credit sandarastwin.blogspot.com if you do! Thank you :)

Chapter Three: RUN

FINALLY, all mysteries of this epic series will end here.

Meaning of RUN: Running away from pain, to run back into the safety net of memories.

Remember how V leaps off the high structure into the ocean in the last scene of Prologue? The opening scene of RUN - V falling into water - is a continuation of his journey in separating his dreams from reality.

The random scenes of V underwater are not unintentional either.

Once again, he flashbacks to the happy moments and good times shared with his friends, before the tragedy.

Crucial point #1:  In the midst of those scenes, some of the boys suddenly startle and stare straight into the camera. Their eyes are scared, sad, helpless, as though being hit by a devastating realisation.

Their realisation... is YOU

They see YOU, the viewer, the one who knows the truth - Jin is gone. Because you, the viewer = REALITY, the one thing they are trying to desperately escape from.

This is an interesting one. The butterfly is a reminder that it is all a dream

And the moment they realise this, they start to run again. 

At the end of the day, reality is the silent killer that creeps up and shatters the thin layer of protection memories offer.

Which brings us to crucial point #2: Jungkook is the only one who is aware of this fact

a. He tries to wake Suga from his drunken depression

b. The party scene where everyone disappears, leaving JK alone, brutally exposed to reality.

c. The ending scene: JK turns around, smiles and winks at us, telling us "Hey, I understand it now too." He has accepted the reality of Jin's death.

And as for V - he too, wakes up to this fact. He opens his eyes, and comes out of the water - out of his fantasy.

CONCLUSION

This story beautifully illustrates the theme of BTS's album "The Most Beautiful Moment in Life" pt.1 and 2 - YOUTH.

In life, sometimes we lose precious things or people in uncontrollable circumstances. We can try to blame (I NEED YOU), drown ourselves in fantasy (Prologue) or run from it all (RUN), but sooner or later, reality catches up. 

We lose our innocence in the process of growing up, and we make mistakes. A lot of mistakes. But even though things can never be the way they were before, the memories made will forever make youth - the most beautiful moment in life.

P.S. I am sincerely in love with this group. They are probably one of the most all-rounded artists in Kpop, from incredibly artistic songs and videos which carry relatable messages, to their explosive stage presence and mind blowing choreography. And who can forget their adorkable personalities that melt the hearts of millions of fangirls? Even as the hardcore YG stan I am, I can't help but keep a soft sport for these boys.  

Now excuse me while I meditate and feed my soul with this masterpiece of an album. 

[PART 2] BTS 'Prologue' Analysis: All but a dream

* This is a THREE part post. Please read Part I (I NEED YOU) before this, then Part III (RUN)'s analysis (Do it in sequence!)

* This is purely my own understanding of the storyline. The beauty of art is in its openness to hundreds of possible interpretations. There is no 'right' or 'wrong' theory.

*Feel free to share this if you found it helpful. However please do credit sandarastwin.blogspot.com if you do! Thank you :)

Chapter Two: Prologue 

Prologue is a tad confusing, a blurring of lines between fact and fantasy. It picks up from the end of I NEED YOU, from V's story.

He regrets what he's done and tries to wash away the traces of his sin but fails. Helpless, he calls his Hyung, saying "나  지금 보고 싶어요" - I want to see you.  Presumably, he wants to see Jin Hyung, the reason for his pain.

I'll save you the confusion: From this point on, everything is nothing but a dream. Because suddenly, everything seems to reverse back in time.

a. V teleports to an empty open area, his clothes free from bloodstains, his skin perfect.

b. All his friends return, including Jin. Jungkook says "어 진 형이다" - It's Jin Hyung. They are surprised to see Jin, a proof that he was indeed gone from their lives.

But notice how he never joins in with the rest of the boys. Notice how he is always in the sidelines, recording every moment with his camera. This is his form of redemption, for wanting to say goodbye to them for good in I NEED YOU.

Even though he isn't with them anymore, he now understands the importance of preserving their memory, appreciating their good times. He points to the the polaroid, asking "우리 여기 일까?" - Are we in here? = Asking the members if their friendship will forever remain in their memory, just like in a photograph *cue Ed Sheeran's Photograph*

c. The biggest giveaway: the song played in the video, Butterfly. The lyrics describe the feeling of something being too good to be true.

아직도 믿기지가 않아   I still can't believe it

이 모든 게 다 꿈인 것 같아  All of this seems like a dream

사라지려 하지마  Don't disappear 

How is that simply by wishing, everyone had a second chance to relive their happy moments?

Towards the end, V begins to realise this. To test if the whole thing was a dream, he jumps into the water. I believe that he didn't literally dive to his death, but the act of plunging into the ocean is a metaphor for trying to shake himself awake.

On a side note the colours in this scene are so goddamn beautiful T_T

And remember how BigHit sneakily and silently removed Jin's last scene? That could also be a clue pointing that the video is about an illusion, a fantasy, a wishful dream.

It's a smart move, to end the video in the midst of this climax. The drama boils down to it's final chapter - RUN (Part 3 of the analysis) 

[PART 1] BTS 'I NEED YOU' Analysis: A story of Goodbyes

* This is a THREE part post. Click here to read Part II (Prologue) and Part III (RUN)'s analysis (Do it in sequence!)

* This is purely my own understanding of the storyline. The beauty of art is in its openness to hundreds of possible interpretations. There is no 'right' or 'wrong' theory.

*Feel free to share this if you found it helpful. However please do credit sandarastwin.blogspot.com if you do! Thank you :)

Chapter One: I NEED YOU

It seems like everyone is grieving over loss and looking for ways out of their suffering, by resorting to suicide and crime. They hate the person that made them feel this way, yet deep down, they still love him/her.

The first question: Who are they grieving over? A girl? The lyrics say "I need you girl" but throughout the video, there is no girl in sight.

The answer: They are grieving over Jin. 

What? How? Why?

Notice carefully, there is only one person who did not engage in destructive behaviour - Jin. How do we know he is connected to the others? Easy, the MV constantly shows flashbacks scenes of BTS - Jin included - having good times together, celebrating their friendship.

Additional points to consider:
1. He is the first person to appear in the MV - implies that he is an important character.
2. He is always dressed in white, appearing in white settings. White = symbol of purity, but also the colour of death
3. At 1.39, the lyrics go "But you're my everything" and guess whose image is on screen? Yup, Jin.

During Jin's scenes, he is always holding white flowers. The meaning behind these flowers is a mystery only revealed in RUN, the third instalment of this short film-esque sequel.

The first few lines of RUN goes: 
넌 내 하나뿐인 태양 세상에 딱 하나 (You are my only sun, one and only in the world)
널 향해 피었지만 난 자꾸 목말라   (I bloomed for you, but I’m still getting thirsty)
너무 늦었어 늦었어 너 없이 살 순 없어 (It’s too late, too late, I can’t live without you)
가지가 말라도 더 힘껏 손을 뻗어  (Though my branch runs dry, I reach for you with all my strength)

Hence, the flowers represent the six remaining boys.

By letting go of the flowers, and burning them, Jin is saying goodbye to his friends. 

However, later in the MV, there is a brief scene of a shiny image of a flower plastered on Jin's chest. Perhaps this means that for Jin, their friendship will forever remain in his heart despite him being physically apart.

Alright, so that explains Jin's role (phewww finally!) BUT there is one more leading character in our story! That person is...*drumroll*...

Alien aka Kim Taehyung aka V

V is the bridge that links all three MVs together. In this video, he is the only character who did not cause hurt to himself, but to another person instead, by killing the man ( According to some Youtube comments I've read, it could be his father).

The story for I NEED YOU ends here, and is continued in Prologue (Part 2 of the analysis!)

Of Paris, ISIS, and Moral Education

Two days ago, the world awoke to the aftermath of the Paris terrorist attacks. As shockwaves spread across cyberspace and accusations of double standards fired back and forth, the one thing that bounded everyone together, was deep heartbreak, outrage, and ultimately the question: "What is wrong with the world today?"

For most of us, it is unfathomable to commit such blatant crimes against humanity. To treat a fellow homo sapien as though he or she is no more than a mannequin void of emotion or thought, to toss away as they please. We now hear of strengthening security, blocking borders, and French president Francois Hollande vowing to strike back at ISIS.

I couldn't help but wonder - could this be perpetuating an endless cycle of violence? Prevention and intervention are undeniably essential during such crisis, but what I believe the world needs more, is proper education.

After years of schooling, we are knowledgable, but not necessarily wise. We discover little things we wish we knew before entering the 'real world'  - how to peacefully resolve conflict, how to respect differences, how to compromise and love equally. Issues that resemble common sense, but are surprisingly difficult to execute. Why weren't these ever taught in schools, if the point of education is to mould us into stable, mature adults?

Sure, we have moral education in schools. In Malaysia, this subject is known as Pendidikan Moral. But ask any non muslim student, and they will tell you it's just another useless exam to pass. Memorising definitions? Who has time for that? In an effort to teach moral values, it almost always ironically promotes cheating instead.

And while calling for moderation and tolerance in school, the country is doing the exact opposite. For instance, the recent proposal on introducing halal and non-halal trolleys in supermarkets. A government who is segregating society while preaching for unity simply stinks of hypocrisy. Kids these days are not stupid. Their sources of information are no longer limited to textbooks when the world is just a click away. They can see and decide for themselves whose words to trust. How do you expect to raise a generation of morally sound citizens when leaders show otherwise?

To cultivate real change, it is not Pendidikan Moral alone that needs a revamp, but the way education and society works. We have an education system solely focused on grades, a world consumed by money and materialistic greed. It's just sad, how this misses the whole point of education and life. Children go to school without understanding why. They stress over scoring As for the one goal of getting into college, then to graduate, then to find a job. . . then, what? It is a lonely and endless chase marred with frustration and confusion.

In this factory-like world, our children are growing up without solid values and principles. They are exposed to risks of being easily misled by what they see and hear. In light of recent events, misinformation could breed a generation susceptible to stigma and discrimination such as Islamophobia. In the worst case scenario, with no foundation to lean on, the misunderstood youngster joins terrorist movements and continues the cycle of violence, pledges, and answering with more violence.

Following the Paris attack, I've observed many netizens showing their support by changing their Facebook profile photos to the temporary French national flag's colour. While I believe they are sincerely sympathetic and concerned, I can't help but feel that many are just jumping on the trend and doing it because others are. And as with any internet sensation - be it Kylie Jenner's lip challenge to Gangnam Style - it's a wildfire that burns bright for a few seconds and dies down afterward. People forget, and continue their daily lives.

There's nothing wrong with the FB picture changing. I think the support is great, it tells that you care - but you want to make a real difference? Start showing compassion in real life. Help a stranger, make friends with people of various backgrounds, tell your friends and family you love them. Teach your children - and each other - to respect one another regardless of race and religion. And remember that a work of a few bad apples never justifies condemning an entire religion.

Yes, not everyone is fortunate enough to afford a traditional education, but does education simply have to mean attending school, and graduating with a degree? Why does 'education' have to be defined in black and white? Take for example (JUST an example): An illiterate man who has a honest and kind heart versus a Harvard graduate who is full of greed, pride and envy - who is the educated one here?

May this episode be a reminder to educate ourselves on the things that truly matter in life.

#PrayforParis

--> On the issue regarding Moral Studies subject - Personally, I agree with its implementation in primary schools. Young children are impressionable, more eager to learn, and easier to groom into good citizens. However in secondary school, you are dealing with teenagers with a mind of their own (and a heck load of hormones). They should be encouraged to make their own decisions, think for themselves, and withstand the consequences. Moral studies should not be made into a compulsory subject, but an elective, and taught in a more engaging and effective way - perhaps through practical projects, volunteering, peer mentoring etc? With the current education system, the intentions for Moral Studies may be good, but the way it's implemented is unfortunately miscalculated.

The paradox of youth

They say it is the best and the worst time of your life, and I completely agree.

First, let me introduce you to this song that's been my obsession for the past few weeks

IU's Twenty Three 스물셋

Controversies aside, this song is a masterpiece, a perfect illustration of the beautiful chaos wrecking in the mind of a 23 year old (or 19, in my case).

Youth is a haven free from the real world. Tried being the good girl, don't like it? Just switch roles with the girl on next table. Want to fall in love but got your heart broken? Don't worry, the next one is just around the corner. Go ahead and run, burn, crash, and get up and do it all over again - what's the worst that can happen?

But at the end of every high, comes the question: Which one are you: Black or white - or in between? Do I choose one, or can I have both? 

With each fall, we somehow rise. But it always comes with a scar, another bandage layered to cover a concurrent wound. Do we really grow up, or do we just grow afraid? 

So there's the power of manipulation. Sure, I'll say what you want to hear; I always wear a mask of indifference. How sure are you that that's all there is? Transparency in words is a luxury only afforded by the innocent. 

As IU describes it, "Putting on an expression that is opposite to the heart, is actually pretty easy. In the beginning, I never wrote a single line of lies."

Youth is a time jammed between the ages, wanting to remain a child, yet wishing to seen as an adult.

I want you to take me seriously, yet I want you to forgive me easily. I love my freedom from responsibility, but fear for the unknown.

Did I just confuse you with a post on confusion? Welcome to my world.

Two is better than One

Hello there, random stranger/ friend. Yes, I know it's been a while since I've updated anything on this blog. The reason for that is:

Life in Year 1, Semester 2 of university has been absolutely, completely, mind blowingly crazy.

So much so, that instead of blogging each event separately, it was much more practical (and not to mention easier) to compile them into one super awesome dedication post.

I thought that Sem 1 had it all, but if I could rewind 6 months into the past, I would tell myself "If you thought this was a handful to digest, just wait till you enter part two of 2015."

Because Two, was definitely better than One.

First, it was this unique mix of humans that went by the name of Continuum.

Long story short, Continuum was one of the two teams running for the student council election of 2015. And I'm proud to say, I was a member of team Continuum.

In a spur of the moment decision, I agreed to my course mate Daphne's offer to run for editor. And, well... I found myself here.

I have the admit, the beginning was hard. I had to spend weekends attending meetings with a group of 30+ strangers who come from not just Malaysia, but Pakistan, Mauritius, Indonesia, Sri Lanka and much more. Culture shock? You bet.

For me, the ice only finally broke during the 2 week election campaign. For those 2 weeks, every spare time was spent in front of this booth, sales promoter-mode on, thick facedly going up to strangers in hopes of winning their vote. 

Our notice board, designed by the talented team itself

The creative corner for anyone to post up ideas and suggestions for us. Turned out looking super pretty too

It may seem like an easy job, but it really does take a surprising level of courage to approach random students and say "Hi, I'm Xindy from team Continuum, do you want to come check out our booth?" 

Tiredness aside, those two weeks had to be one of the most fun times I've had in uni so far. Battling the war for votes everyday did the trick to turn Continuum from teammates -> friends. I especially remember the day we made placards of the word "Vote" in a bazillion languages, then proceeded to walk around campus holding them like a boss. It;s not something you'd get to do everyday ;)

Yes, there was drama, there was controversy, and overall a brutally truthful insight into the world of politics. In the end, I did not get the post I was running for. But was worth it? YES. Every hour, every weekend, even that nerve wrecking debate that kept me awake half the night before - all worth it, because the friendships found and the experience itself is the best reward I could ever ask for. Once again, thank you, team Continuum. 

My second (and final) major event for this semester - MPAC's Year End Production, Edelweiss

Presenting you the dancers of Edelweiss! Try to spot me

P.S. I'm in no way a professional dancer, or even a dancer, actually.

FYI, this was the second time of my life dancing in front of an audience. But it was my first time participating in a musical, complete with fancy lighting and original soundtracks. Even though it was just a uni level production, it still felt like being part of something big.

We spent roughly two months preparing our dance for the Sabotage Song. We could never have done it if it wasn't for our incredibly talented and gorgeous choreographer aka SENPAI Grace <3 I know it hadn't been easy transforming six hyperactive, noisy girls into a smoking sexy dance crew that rocked the stage on those two performance nights. Thank you senpai, we laff you <3

Don't mess with the #sabotagecrew

My life would have been very, very different without this production. There would be no weekly practices to look forward to, no crazy shopping trip, no lame jokes, random dancing and weirdness during rehearsals that made me laugh till I felt like I was gaining six pack abs. 

From these little moments, to the indescribably sweet, deep satisfaction that came from successfully wrapping up a show we worked so hard for, YEP is definitely one of my best memories of the year.

I am eternally grateful to have met and worked with all of you.

The MPAC family <3

And I guess this means goodbye to life as a first year student. Gosh, where did the time go? 

University: Semester One, done!

Happy holidays and happy birthday Li Sha <3

Just last week, I finally completed my Media Studies paper, and celebrated it with the gang with a good round of karaoke + surprise birthday celebration for one of our dear friends. 

So with 4 weeks of empty schedules lined up, I guess I'll be blogging a lot more in the coming days ^_^

Anyway, here are 3 things I came away with from this semester:

#1 There's a big difference between exams in high school and in university. 

Exams don't strike the same kind of panic and kiasu-induced fear, or the endless hardcore hours poring over books and last minute praying as they did in my SPM years. Not to say that uni exams aren't important or difficult, they still are. But compared to killer assignments that we were handed throughout the semester, the load of exams were somewhat lifted off our shoulders a bit by the end of the semester. Which in my opinion, is a much more effective learning method than having a 100% exam based system. Work hard first, play hard later.

#2 Monash semesters are just way too short

 3 months to cram 12 topics? It's stressful man. I know I sound crazy but the breaks we get are just too long, up to 3 months at the end of the year. Still, I suppose it's a good time to explore other interests and maybe even snag an internship ;)

#3 This has been the best student life I've had so far 

On the other hand, 3 months may seem short, but the friendships I've found here definitely feel more than a 3 month old one. Call it fate, call it destiny, but I believe that everyone meets for a reason. Going from total strangers to enjoying crazy outings, raves, movies, and random dancing together - you gotta admit it's pretty amazing. I'm really looking forward to more adventures with these awesome people.

I turned 19 with them :'D Thank you guys again for that one seriously kickass birthday

Stop giving me the feels, John Green

I like to think of myself as a cynic towards romance. Happy endings don't exist in my vocabulary. Maybe I'm being pessimistic as someone who has never experienced love in this sense before.

And yet, I've strangely been attracted to John Green's novels. Those soppy, incredibly cliched teenage love and drama stories. Despite the content, I have to admit Green really has a magical way with words. Even the the simplest things, sometimes almost common sense, can be crafted into tragically beautiful art forms that shoot feels straight into the heart.

But only because they ring so true

Maybe I'm being a little too dramatic and emotional and teenager-y, but then again:

(Full credit to all the editors of the photos)