Sexy, Free and Single

(Yes, I know its the title of a SuJu song)

But it's just that...Single ladies out there, I totally feel you. Ever felt like...

We are the ones who are a 500megawatt lightbulb in a cafe, shining on loving couples sharing coffee and kisses

We are the ones who never got a chance to dress pretty for a date

We are the ones who missed out on romantic summer holidays

We are the ones who never got a sweet goodnight text

We are the ones they call...forever alone?

Okay I will stop now. It's getting kinda depressing, don't you think?

Is that seriously all we think of ourselves? Lonely, pathetic, unwanted?

Really, are we that worthless? Come on, girls...

NO. We are not what they think. No matter how ugly they paint the picture, no matter how much the word 'single'  drips with revulsion and stigma, tell yourself: "I refuse to believe it"

Why? Because what we are under, is an unrelenting, vicious downpour of false assumptions and beliefs, generously dumped on us by our dear friends, tv dramas and basically the whole notorious teenage society - that to be happy, we MUST have a special someone in hand.

Since when our life was to be defined by just one person, in an ocean of millions? Even as a child, we knew better. We did not think the world was over when our best friend decided to dump us, we did not let ourselves sink into despair each time our parents reprimanded us. Do you remember what was the most important thing back then?

It was looking forward to that 1 o' clock bell signifying the end of a dreary school day

It was ice cream after a long walk in the neighbourhood

It was that extra tv time sneaked in before bedtine

It was all that screaming, laughing, running in the playground with your brother

It was about being FREE

Are we taking our freedom for granted in the pursuit of an indefinite future? Because that's what I think many of us hormone raging teenagers are unconsciously doing, absorbed by the tantalising notion of 'fitting in' and 'being in love'.

But it's not our fault. We are, after all, climbing up the same rocky path, on a journey of growing up and finding ourselves. It's just, sometimes we need a little prod, a little nudge, to remind us of what are our true priorities in life, and where our happiness lie.

So let me rephrase those unflattering sentences in the beginning:

We are the ones who can check out the cute guys in the cafe without a pinch of guilt

We are the ones who can dress up, make up and look flawless for ourselves, ONLY ourselves, not for anything one else, and feel absolutely fabulous about it

We are the ones who get to enjoy girls-day-outs, surprise trips and vacations, without ever having to inform anyone about who's coming with us

We are the ones who have the priviledge to fully immerse ourselves in the love of our friends and family

We are the ones that never have to worry our minds considering the needs of another soul before making a decision

We are the risk takers, the adventurers, the fighters, the captain of our own boat in the sea of life

We are not lame, we are not worthless and we are DEFINITELY not forever alone

We are sexy, free and single

Confessions of a Kpop-aholic

It's a title I would have never dreamed of crowning myself just a few years back.

A little, stubborn me, complete with a head full of ego and gifted with a tunnel vision mind, my musical world was restricted to a little bubble that went by the name of Taylor Swift.

"What's with all the hype of all those "Sorry Sorry" "Nobody nobody?" I used to scorn. Anybody can repeat the same words again and again (See. I just did that). Throw in some dance moves and a row of carbon copied faces, and voila! This queer phenomena know n as Kpop that was sweeping the globe.

Nope, I thought I was too good to even take a peek at the other side of the coin.

But, by the power of peer influnce and social media, a savior (or more accurately, five of them!) opened my eyes to the golden, glittering path towards a new world. One step, and there was no turning back.

Even if there was a reset button, never in my life would i lay a finger on it. In fact I'd take it, travel to the Sahara, dig a hole 10 miles deep and bury it so that no one would ever uncover it.

"Who's that on your laptop screen? And your phone wallpaper?" My mother  questioned in surprise one fine December morning.

"Just my Big Bang oppas!" I'd reply cheerily. Everywhere I went - in the car, in the mall, in my room, in the shower( ESPECIALLY the shower) I started singing in what sounded like pure gibberish. It annoyed the heck out of everyone how everything that came spilling out of my mouth was consistently punctuated with 'Jinjja' 'Daebak' 'Omo' and how nobody could escape saying 'Wow' without my instinctual urge to butt in with 'Fantastic baby! Dance~" * Proceeds to begin a  failed attempt at emulating the choreo*

But oh damn, it was fun. It was beyond ecstatic, a kind of high never experienced before. The way your stresses wash away after laughing hysterically at videos of your idols being total dorks, the increasing obessiveness from falling in love with them over and over again with each MV devoured. I never knew joy could come from something this trivial- fangirling. Ugh.

You see, Kpop does have the stereotype of being all manufactured, fluffy and bubblegum-ish. As cringe worthy as that sounds, I believe it is because many peoole simply don't bother to look under all the hype to uncover its true essence (yours truly was once guilty as charged)

Music isn't about the language, it's about the incredibly vast pool of emotions it encompasses.

"You don't need to understand the language, but you can enjoy the music" - CL, 2ne1

I think the charm of Kpop to its non Korean fans is how it is able to touch our hearts despite not comprehending a single word of it. It is also probably the reason how Kpop fans are so united regardless of which corner of the globe we hail from. We are not linked by language. We are held together through the heart.

Let me share with you a song that I feel personally connected to. It is one of my favourite Kpop songs - Ugly by 2ne1. Yes, the chorus is in English, but basically it talks about the times we are shrouded by inadequacy, tormented by insecurity and drowning in doubt. Self confidence was an issue I struggled for years, and this song? This song spoke directly to my heart.

It's okay to feel ugly sometimes.

I'm still young, growing up with an entertainment world where trends change within a blink of an eye. I don't know how long I'll continue Kpop-ing, how long left before I surrender my fangirl days to be below my age.

But if one day - 10, 20 years down the road - a farmiliar tune catches my ear, a tune that makes my feet tap to its beat and lifts the corner of my lips, in a foreign language I grew to love, I know it will bring me back to a time. A simpler, happier time, when all I needed was oppas and unnis to keep me grinning all day long.

P.s. Who am I listening to lately? WINNER!! OMG THEY ARE JUST TOO AWESOME ASJDKGKGL MINO OPPA ♡♡♡ hahahah okay I'm fangirling here again :p Please don't judge me  ^^